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Yes or No? The Power to Decide!
By Ma Naina Rajkumari


Decisiveness brings light to life
A decision is defined as a choice made between alternative courses of action in a situation of uncertainty. Vanilla or strawberry? Mango or Apple? Left or Right? Life or death? We make tons of decisions unconsciously. We choose actions, form opinions, pass judgments via certain mental processes which are often influenced by our biases, reasoning, emotions, and memories from the past. 
Daily we face instances which require us to make a decision. Sometimes the decision ends into procrastination. 
Sigmund Freud used the metaphor of a horse and rider to show the endless conflict between our emotional impulse and our reasoning ability. The horse is the source of our emotional impulses, while the rider represents reason. How we resolve a conflict between reason and emotion can very well determine whether one is procrastinating or not.
Guiding the horse requires awareness. And as Osho points out, decision is needed. One has to decide each moment. Each moment lost without decision creates fragmentation within us. As each moment is decided, one gradually becomes collected into one single piece. A moment comes when we become integrated into one. Osho makes a point though that, decision is not really the thing: decisiveness is. "Through decisions you become decisive." 
He explains: "The more decisive you are, the more integrated you become. You begin to take more responsibility of commitment... of course, it is very dangerous, but life is dangerous. I know there are many possibilities of going astray, but that risk has to be taken. There are possibilities you may err, but one learns by erring. Life is a journey of trial and error. Decision should arise in your being, because with decisiveness integrity arises".
What is indecisiveness? It simply means many voices within us are contradicting each other, and we cannot decide whether to go this way or that. And consequently, those who don't know how to decide remain vague, cloudy, confused. With decision comes clarity. And if the decision is far-reaching, if the decision has something to do with your life foundations, it can bring a new birth, a new way of doing and being.
Osho says, "Decisiveness brings light. Even if you decide to remain the same, that will also bring light to you; things will become clearer. Decisiveness is always good; man is born through decisiveness. Remaining wavering, doing things half-heartedly, doing and not doing, just going so far and then turning back, is a sheer wastage of energy. And if you remain this way too long, it becomes your habit. Then it becomes a deep rut in your mind: again and again you do the same thing and the rut goes deeper and deeper and deeper. Stop it!"
Decision is good when it comes out of life, it is bad when it comes only out of the head. And when it comes only out of the head it is never decisive; it is always a conflict. The alternatives remain open and the mind goes on and on, from this side to that. That's how the mind creates conflict.
The body is always here while the mind is never here; that is the whole conflict. You breathe in the present, you cannot breathe tomorrow and you cannot breathe yesterday. You have to breathe this moment, but you can think about tomorrow and you can think about yesterday. So the body remains in the present and the mind goes on hopping between the past and future, and thus, there is a split between the body and mind. The body is in the present but the mind is never in the present; they never meet, they never come across each other. And because of that split, anxiety, anguish and tension arise.
The mind has to be brought to the present, because there is no other time. Osho devised this beautiful one-hour meditation technique for the modern man:
“Just sit in a chair, relaxed, make yourself comfortable and close your eyes. Just start looking at your breathing. Don't change it; just look, watch. By your watching it, it will become slower and slower and slower. If ordinarily you take eight breaths in one minute, you will start taking six, five, four, three or two.
Within two or three weeks you will be taking one breath per minute. When you are taking one breath per minute the mind is coming closer to the body. Out of this small meditation a time comes when for minutes the breathing stops. Three or four minutes pass and then one breath. Then you are in tune with the body and you will know for the first time what the present is.
Otherwise it is just a world; the mind has never known it, the mind has never experienced it. It knows the past, it knows the future, so when you say present, the mind understands something in between past and future, in between something, but the mind has no experience of it.
So for one hour every day, relax yourself into breathing slowly. Slowly, you will get an experience of the present. And one day, the decision will arise, whatsoever it is. It is immaterial what decision comes up. The most important thing is from where it comes; not what it is, but from where it comes. If it comes from the head, it will create misery. But if some decision arises from your totality then you will never repent it, even for a single moment. 
A man who lives in the present knows nothing of repentance; he never looks back, he never changes his past and his memories and he never arranges his future.
Making decisions in the head is an ugly thing. The very word decision means 'de-cision'; it cuts you off. It is not a good word. It simply means it cuts you off from reality. The head continuously cuts you off from reality.
My whole emphasis is on this moment, because this moment contains all. The present is the only reality - all else is either memory or imagination. And even for the past to exist as memory, now is needed. It doesn't exist as the past; it exists as a thought in the present. So is the case with the future: the future does not exist as the future, it exists as imagination in the present moment. All that exists, exists in the now."
Naina Rajkumari (Ma Prem Naina) is associated with Osho World Foundation and travels widely facilitating workshops and seminars. Born in Jorhat, she was initiated into Osho Sannyas in 2003 at Oshodham, New Delhi.

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